Orang yang ANEH

Dibilangnya gw gak mau ngerti.
Dibilangnya gw cuma bisa berargumentasi yang irrasional.
Dibilangnya semua alasan gw gak masuk akal.

Andai aja lo tau apa yang sedang gw hadapin di depan mata, lo bakal cabut seluruh kata-kata irrasional itu!!!
Anda aja lo tau apa yang sedang gw rasain di depan hidup gw, lo bakal ngerasa kalo EMANG lo yang gak pernah mau ngerti!!!!
Seenaknya lo bilang alasan irrasional! Emang kalo gw bilang alasan yang sesungguhnya lo bisa bantu gw apa???
NOTHING...
Lo cuma bisa salah paham terus sama gw! Gak ada lagi cara lain gw buat bicara sama lo!
GAK semua hal or masalah gw harus gw share sama lo kan?!!!
GAK semua peristiwa or kejadian harus gw bagi sama lo kan?!!!

Gw emang egois, emang mau menang sendiri. Wajar kalo gw bilang lo gak bisa mau ngerti gw, karena emang lo gak bisa!!
Peduli setan sama temen lo yang keluarganya ada di ambang kehancuran, itu bukan masalah gw. Lo tuh cuma manja!
Meminta perhatian sedemikian besar dari gw, tapi gw ada masalah besar yang harus gw selesaikan buat menyelamatkan gw dan juga keluarga gw!!!
Dan gw emang gak terbiasa bercerita sama orang yang menurut gw gak mau gw ganggu privasinya!
Buat apa gw cerita sama lo??
Buat apa gw harus bilang ke lo???

Gw bukan cuma egois, tapi juga kaku. Gak terbiasa buat bergantung sama orang lain, gak kayak lo.
Yang gw butuhkan cuma waktu dan lagi-lagi lo SALAH PAHAM.

TERSERAH MAU BILANG APA!!
EGOIS KEK...
MENANG SENDIRI KEK...

GW YAKIN, SUATU HARI NANTI LO MENGETAHUI FAKTA YANG SEBENARNYA... LO AKAN KEMBALI KE GW DAN MINTA MAAF.

KARENA LO SALAH MENILAI GW!!!

Different

I was asking a question to one of my friend; Have you ever felt lonely in a middle of peoples?

She didn't answer, well... maybe it wasn't a serious question for her, or maybe she think I'm annoying. The truth is... I was just being annoying because I'm bored.

Yesterday I was going to one of my friend's house, they said it was a farewell party, we wear a white shirt and jeans. We eat, we talk, we laugh, and the we take a picture. I was there, with a lot of my old friends, they're lovely and such. But, I can't find anything of them that interest me anymore. They're smart peoples, they're brilliant, but they have no confident at all...

All I hear about them is, well what I think I heard is; how to find a good job, or help your friends to find a job. Do you think to find a good job it's an easy thing to do? No, never... then, if you know... why don't you find your own affection, your own passion?? Make your own job.

Says who it needs a lot of money???

If you have a dream, and really willing to try something different... Your brain will found something usefull. Hey! You're a Bachelor now! Not just A Bachelor peoples! Have a thought! You were graduate from the BEST university in INDONESIA!!!!

So... work your brain out!

I was bored, yes I was bored... I admit it... I was bored, very bored... cause there's nothing you can't do there... I found nothing there...

No interest, no thought, no nothing... just... that's it. We graduate, we have fun, and then let's find a job... How bored is that???

Yes...

I'm bored peoples...

So let's call me a selfish knuckle head and arrogant young woman... but I have something you don't have...

A dream...
A passion...
The affection...

I live my own Life...

COFFEE, LOVE & BLACKBERRY
A Journey to the World On-line: Girls Diary
Based on True Story

Cerita ini sudah disetujui dan sedang dalam tahap pengerjaan, meski menyakitkan, penuh dengan rasa dendam, sakit hati, air mata sampai senyum dan tawa sudah kami alami.

Dua bulan hampir perjalanan yang membuat kami sesak, mulai dari pertemuan pertama di sebuah kafe. Aku mengenakan kemeja biru berlengan panjang, berharap tampak profesional. Dan dia, datang mengenakan baju santai, berjalan dengan heboh sambil berkata; uangnya masih kurang, gimana nih? Aku hanya tersenyum.

Itu perkenalan pertama kami.

Tapi nasib tidak selalu baik, takdir membuat kami harus merasakan sakit dan luka. Tidak hanya uang ratusan juta raib, tapi juga kepercayaan hampir dipertaruhkan.

Dibalik rasa duka, kami masih dipertemukan dengan mereka yang selalu berusaha membuat kami tersenyum. Dengan mastering mereka di bidang kopi, setiap kali kami datang dengan wajah tertekuk, secangkir kopi single origin selalu tersedia.

Dari Hefei-China, sampai ke London-UK, melewati waktu... Jakarta-Sunter-Cengkareng-Kemang-Bintaro-Cinere. Semua terasa begitu dekat, waktu terlewat begitu cepat.

Kaki kami sudah lelah, hati kami sudah terluka, waktu kami sudah terbuang, dan hutang menumpuk bagai sampah di sudut kota Jakarta.

Aku terluka, dia menangis.
Dia menangis, aku depresi.
Aku bersedih, dia stress.
Dia stress, aku menangis.

Tapi sungguh Tuhan masih kasihan pada kami, jalan demi jalan... ditunjukkanNya pada kami.

People's say: One step at a time, you can't solved the problem in instant.

Miracle did happens in my life, thanks God for still remembering us...

Senyum, tangis, tawa, depresi, sampai kedatangan tamu tak diundang jam dua pagi. Sudah memenuhi catatan hidupku hanya dalam waktu dua bulan.

Jadi ini adalah cerita mengenai kami... Cerita mengenai kopi, cinta dan Blackberry.

I'm Sorry Rien

Mau bercerita panjang lebar, udah janji sama Rien buat menyelesaikan JEJAK di Januari ini. Tapi entah kenapa rasanya otak gw berhenti berpikir untuk membuat sebuah cerita sensasional lagi sejak gw memutuskan untuk memberi kata TAMAT pada Cliches.

Gw gak tau, tapi semua yang ada di dalam Cliches adalah titik didih gw. Mungkin bukan sebagai penulis, tapi sesuatu dalam diri gw berubah setelah itu. Gw memandang kehidupan gw dari sudut pandang; Aria, Gwen, Nanang dan Selene... empat karakter ini mengubah sedikit banyak diri gw. Mungkin Aria dan Gwen. Karena mereka adalah karakter yang terlahir dari hati gw... dari satu wujud abstrak yang terbagi menjadi dua dalam tubuh dan hati yang berbeda.

Ada sesuatu yang hilang dan ada sesuatu yang berkembang dalam diri gw, dalam hati gw dalam kepala gw.

I change... Very much...
Dan gw tau, bahkan mungkin beberapa temen gw gak suka dengan perubahan gw. Bukan aja sejak Cliches, tapi gw berubah mungkin sejak gw bertemu dengan 'mereka'.

Gak cuma dunia gw berputar ke arah yang berbeda, tapi juga hasrat gw berubah. Keinginan gw berubah, gw bosan dengan dunia abu-abu yang selama ini gw jejak, gw bosan dengan dunia tata krama yang selama ini gw injak. Gw BOSAN sama dunia penuh teori yang bahkan tidak lebih pintar dari diri gw sendiri.

Teori gak berguna dalam kehidupan cing! Teori itu cuma syarat, satu dari seribu syarat untuk hidup di masyarakat yang lebih baik.

Tapi gw janji akan menyelesaikan cerita terakhir itu, hanya saja... tunggu sesaat.

Waktu yang sekarang tidak tepat untuk mengerjakan cerita itu...

Tapi pasti...

Biar waktu yang bercerita...

Dark as Night - Under construction

Do you know how it feels when you have been beaten?
Do you how it hurts?
It felt really bad…
Not just your skin burned red…
Not just your body screaming for help…
Your heart is also asking for air to take a deep breath…

Do you know how it feels when you have been betrayed?
Do you know it stick in your mind?
It felt really gross…
Not just your pride has been taken…
Not just your heart has been ripped down…
Your eyes were drown into a sea of tear drops…

Do you know how it feels when you were alone?
Scared, cried, yelled….
Yet, no one comes and you were there…
Sitting in the middle, waiting…
In the dark…
No one comes…
Because you are the one who is been beaten upside down
Because you are the one who is been betrayed in and out
Because you are the one who is become nothing important

Just there…
You and the darkness…
Holding tight
Until you realized…
No one comes, no one help, no one care…
And then…
The darkness consumed you
Pouring you with hatred and a thought to do the bad thing
Pouring you with revenge and a brain to kill
Pouring you with sadness and an eyes only to see a pain

You walked…
And then…
The stories begin…

Kelly Clarkson - Miss Independent

Once more... ONE of a song, that describe me... MUCH....



Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance
Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere, no
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said ooh, she fell in love

What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open my door
Surprise...It's time
To feel what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye, old you
When love is true

Miss guarded heart
Miss play it smart
Miss if you want to use that line you better not start, no
But she miscalculated
She didn't want to end up jaded
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love
So, by changing her misconceptions
She went in a new direction
And found inside she felt a connection
She fell in love.

What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open my door (open my door)
Surprise...It's time (yeah)
To feel what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye (goodbye), old you (oh you)
When love, when love is true

When Miss Independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today
What happened to miss no longer afraid?
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of why can't that be me
I'm so glad I finally see...

What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open my door
Surprise (surprise), it's time (yeah)
To feel (to feel) what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye (goodbye), old you
When love, when love is true...

Miss Independent

I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield

My skin is like a map, where my heart has been
and I cant hide the marks, but its not a negative thing
so I lay down my guard, drop my defenses, throw down my clothes
I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
there's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, cant scratch the surface without moving me
underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I found your finger prints on a glass of wine
do your know your leaving them all over this heart of mine too
if I never take this leap of faith ill never know
so I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
theres a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, cant scratch the surface without moving me
underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you

so be gentle
so be gentle
so be gentle
so be gentle

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
there's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, cant scratch the surface without moving me
underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
there's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, cant scratch the surface without moving me
underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily
I bruise easily